Hmm, this is a familiar topic for me . I have always been afflicted by this queer phenomenon . In school , I always thought that I was one guy , never identified my self as a part of any group . So when I expected some trouble , I was always a lonely sufferer . Waiting , for the misdeed to be discovered and then expecting the punishment was as you could imagine , hell . At times like these , it never occured to me to confide in anyone , not my parents , not my brother , not my so called friends . I was a loner .
As I grew up , this quality still remains , but as with many other aspects , its hidden in wrappers . For a person who wants to analyse the behaviour of an adult , especially in a place like an Office where things you say and do matter , his/her skill should lie in body language . The notion that nobody realises what you are up to is not at all valid , because at every interaction with a peer or a superior , you are judged . This might sound surprising , but I realised when I faced feedback from the bosses , that the impression they get is primarily from what you speak and do in front of everyone ... that is projection of the self to a crowd . This is a major factor in selling yourself ... because I know how powerful an impression a teacher creates in the classroom can be . Once again , Mr Rao comes to my mind .
How is this related to paranoia ?
The fact that you are being watched and judged is the answer . This can be seen visually at any workstation where the boss walks over suddenly and demands an explanation for that day's failure to deliver , or something similar . Things can get pretty ugly , when accusations ( maybe valid ) fly when the responsibility for an action is to be taken . But at the end of it all , it could be an excercise to check your behaviour in a real situation ... so the only way to stay ahead of this is to remain calm ... no matter what .
I can correlate this to another thing called killer instinct . The lack of paranoia , I would define as killer instinct in certain contexts . Certainly , in quake , if I never had paranoia , I could thrash anyone .
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Friday, December 10, 2004
Yesterday , I relived some of the fun I used to have in my college days....
I have a colleague , who is from ECE just like me and a very fun loving guy ... somewhat like "matter" you could say . We have to submit an assignment ..in fact two by the approaching monday and we decided that tonight we would sit and finish it ..somewhat like our college sessional preparation . We had dinner at a place called Pizzaurant ...u know what it was about from the name . Over there we talked about the good old ECE days when a lot of over head transmission used to occur and things like DSP and signals and systems where things were so hopeless that it was like a 360 degree shift back to zero pressure !!
We commiserated about the plight of the EEE guys in my college and his college ( seems that the universal truth is true outside KREC ! ) . And during this deja vu , there was a "politician screwing " session going on . Two guys , a really old and a middle aged guy were facing the music from an NDTV newsreader ... he was asking them what the rationale behind Sonia Gandhi's , and other politicians' lavish birthday bashes was . To this , these guys answered with utmost contempt , the same old crap about Indian culture , people's love for the leader , wishes that she should live for a 100 years !! This was real fun to watch, this newsreader was screwing them left and right , from the top and bottom , no respect and all, only straight questions , in english ... was real fun watching them stutter and splutter trying to justify things with not one fact , but abstractions !
The fiasco entertained us for some time , then we got back to the office cafe to catch a coffee and get back to work . We used the special luxury couches placed there , and as expected couldn't get up , until hours later ... such is the power of the couch !
Bitching they say is for the ladies , I say men do it as much , could u call it dogging ? hehe
Well, if u haven't tried it , I highly recommend this to all, especially when u have a deliverable the next day , its the most fun to talk about all those meaningless little things which happen . Those pretty things who u always dreamed about at home . Those small hints of attraction , even bigger hints of "f**k off" and countless others . At some point of time , if u can just forget that u r in office and think of it as a mating ground or rather courting ground ... it makes a lot of sense . With the males(analysts) being optionally towards the younger (s/w engr ) .
I found out about some people who actually can live their lives sorting people they know into acquaintances , friends , lover(s)! , family , as if its an addressbook or something !! Well , in this work culture , that might be the right thing to do , or maybe it is the right thing to do anyways .
But , I ain't like that , and an old dog ain't learning new tricks until forced to .
Another kind of people I found out about , the ones who change colours like the chameleon . I know that in situations where they are screwed , people can be really down and really break down sometimes . And later when things are alright , come back and say that it was nothing and get back at you for being there !! Well .... personally, I dont care for such things much , dont know if its a good thing or not , consistency of behaviour or atleast character is a desirable thing ...at all places ...work, friendship and relationships . And that coming from the most impulsive guy around ... hey but I am consistently impulsive right ?
The day ended with a ride back home on a CBZ at 1 am , and getting back to office at 9 am is no small challenge .....
I have a colleague , who is from ECE just like me and a very fun loving guy ... somewhat like "matter" you could say . We have to submit an assignment ..in fact two by the approaching monday and we decided that tonight we would sit and finish it ..somewhat like our college sessional preparation . We had dinner at a place called Pizzaurant ...u know what it was about from the name . Over there we talked about the good old ECE days when a lot of over head transmission used to occur and things like DSP and signals and systems where things were so hopeless that it was like a 360 degree shift back to zero pressure !!
We commiserated about the plight of the EEE guys in my college and his college ( seems that the universal truth is true outside KREC ! ) . And during this deja vu , there was a "politician screwing " session going on . Two guys , a really old and a middle aged guy were facing the music from an NDTV newsreader ... he was asking them what the rationale behind Sonia Gandhi's , and other politicians' lavish birthday bashes was . To this , these guys answered with utmost contempt , the same old crap about Indian culture , people's love for the leader , wishes that she should live for a 100 years !! This was real fun to watch, this newsreader was screwing them left and right , from the top and bottom , no respect and all, only straight questions , in english ... was real fun watching them stutter and splutter trying to justify things with not one fact , but abstractions !
The fiasco entertained us for some time , then we got back to the office cafe to catch a coffee and get back to work . We used the special luxury couches placed there , and as expected couldn't get up , until hours later ... such is the power of the couch !
Bitching they say is for the ladies , I say men do it as much , could u call it dogging ? hehe
Well, if u haven't tried it , I highly recommend this to all, especially when u have a deliverable the next day , its the most fun to talk about all those meaningless little things which happen . Those pretty things who u always dreamed about at home . Those small hints of attraction , even bigger hints of "f**k off" and countless others . At some point of time , if u can just forget that u r in office and think of it as a mating ground or rather courting ground ... it makes a lot of sense . With the males(analysts) being optionally towards the younger (s/w engr ) .
I found out about some people who actually can live their lives sorting people they know into acquaintances , friends , lover(s)! , family , as if its an addressbook or something !! Well , in this work culture , that might be the right thing to do , or maybe it is the right thing to do anyways .
But , I ain't like that , and an old dog ain't learning new tricks until forced to .
Another kind of people I found out about , the ones who change colours like the chameleon . I know that in situations where they are screwed , people can be really down and really break down sometimes . And later when things are alright , come back and say that it was nothing and get back at you for being there !! Well .... personally, I dont care for such things much , dont know if its a good thing or not , consistency of behaviour or atleast character is a desirable thing ...at all places ...work, friendship and relationships . And that coming from the most impulsive guy around ... hey but I am consistently impulsive right ?
The day ended with a ride back home on a CBZ at 1 am , and getting back to office at 9 am is no small challenge .....
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
different faces of the s/w industry ..
I was sad and I was lonely ... a year ago
Going through the moves without much ado
All around me people were going places , they were getting placed
I ... watched on silently , nothing showing on my face
And then it happened on a sunny day ,
It was summer you see and the heat was holding sway ...
They came , they saw and they recruited me !
I was overcome with ...joy ? somewhat , but felt more like "why we?"
But that was long ago , and now I am something more ...
Learning the ropes in a different arena , I entered a novice to the s/w core ,
I worked and worked and still felt bad
Until I realised that there was much fun to be had ...
Be clearer to your boss , I learnt , for hes watching you
Wherever you are , good or bad !
So when you like some work say it so , and hate something ... could make you mad
Many things I learnt from this boss of mine ...
Saying what you feel can be done with a smile
Telling you to work can be made to feel like a cup of wine
Through a crisis you 'll be put ,
Just to see, how well you can earn your cut,..maybe ?
No way , its to see how you can handle your butt
The more levels there are between you and the boss
The more screwed becomes the words that are put .
A tear or two can easen things ... when you are under pressure
But boy can it screw up your future pleasure !
An enterprising attitude all the bosses seek ,
Show that you are strong , not that you are weak .
If you have an idea , make it a product and sell it to him ,
If he buys it , you be sure that chances are not actually slim!
At many times a thought comes by ,
Am i the winner in this bargain or is there is something beyond the blue sky ?
I get lost in thought , and am rudely awoken , by the harsh ceiling lights ...
The sky is blocked , the lights are there to remind you ... we are paying you so high ,
So you better work hard , cause the day of appraisal is ever so nigh !
Between the boss and I ,
Lies another experienced guy .
Hes the jack of all (MicroSoft) trades ,
Technically speaking , he would have got good grades (were in school).
The boss who was , has taken a break and the jack takes over and reports to him ...
A new complication enters our simple bug fixing life .
The communication to the highest branch now is filtered by a knowing hand .
A few days later , a feedback is in order says the experienced guy .
I am interested , because he said it , as he looked into my eye .
"Come out with what you think " he says ,
A thought not spoken , is a thought not used .
A mind capable of brilliant things , is being wasted by not .. marketing ..!?
"Come on, I know all of this", I thought , but being silent ... is it such an ill spot ?
Being capable is not enough , for this is not school ... or for that matter college
Where the grades can come and go , without a thought passing through the gray matter ...
More vital is to "do and show " , for a good deed done is not a good deed seen ...
Some facts are difficult to stomach , especially where you are told you suck !?
"I know what I am , what the f**k ? " comes to the tip of the tongue ...
But think some more , from the boss's shoes ,
Move with the peers and do what they do .
Taking an initiative is brownie point always ,
And it earns respect , for your dedication and creative ways .
Pressure can change things sometimes , the egg may become harder when boiled , or sometimes start cracking ...
The boss ain't eat no egg , he just likes watching and learning .
Tested and tried until you are for a better place to hold ...
A promotion will have to wait , my friend ... so be bold
And make progress everyday , without being told .
"Cause at the end of the day" , the boss will always say ...
An idea thought is of no use , ... produce it and sell it to him ,
then your chances aren't actually slim .
--- railmani
Going through the moves without much ado
All around me people were going places , they were getting placed
I ... watched on silently , nothing showing on my face
And then it happened on a sunny day ,
It was summer you see and the heat was holding sway ...
They came , they saw and they recruited me !
I was overcome with ...joy ? somewhat , but felt more like "why we?"
But that was long ago , and now I am something more ...
Learning the ropes in a different arena , I entered a novice to the s/w core ,
I worked and worked and still felt bad
Until I realised that there was much fun to be had ...
Be clearer to your boss , I learnt , for hes watching you
Wherever you are , good or bad !
So when you like some work say it so , and hate something ... could make you mad
Many things I learnt from this boss of mine ...
Saying what you feel can be done with a smile
Telling you to work can be made to feel like a cup of wine
Through a crisis you 'll be put ,
Just to see, how well you can earn your cut,..maybe ?
No way , its to see how you can handle your butt
The more levels there are between you and the boss
The more screwed becomes the words that are put .
A tear or two can easen things ... when you are under pressure
But boy can it screw up your future pleasure !
An enterprising attitude all the bosses seek ,
Show that you are strong , not that you are weak .
If you have an idea , make it a product and sell it to him ,
If he buys it , you be sure that chances are not actually slim!
At many times a thought comes by ,
Am i the winner in this bargain or is there is something beyond the blue sky ?
I get lost in thought , and am rudely awoken , by the harsh ceiling lights ...
The sky is blocked , the lights are there to remind you ... we are paying you so high ,
So you better work hard , cause the day of appraisal is ever so nigh !
Between the boss and I ,
Lies another experienced guy .
Hes the jack of all (MicroSoft) trades ,
Technically speaking , he would have got good grades (were in school).
The boss who was , has taken a break and the jack takes over and reports to him ...
A new complication enters our simple bug fixing life .
The communication to the highest branch now is filtered by a knowing hand .
A few days later , a feedback is in order says the experienced guy .
I am interested , because he said it , as he looked into my eye .
"Come out with what you think " he says ,
A thought not spoken , is a thought not used .
A mind capable of brilliant things , is being wasted by not .. marketing ..!?
"Come on, I know all of this", I thought , but being silent ... is it such an ill spot ?
Being capable is not enough , for this is not school ... or for that matter college
Where the grades can come and go , without a thought passing through the gray matter ...
More vital is to "do and show " , for a good deed done is not a good deed seen ...
Some facts are difficult to stomach , especially where you are told you suck !?
"I know what I am , what the f**k ? " comes to the tip of the tongue ...
But think some more , from the boss's shoes ,
Move with the peers and do what they do .
Taking an initiative is brownie point always ,
And it earns respect , for your dedication and creative ways .
Pressure can change things sometimes , the egg may become harder when boiled , or sometimes start cracking ...
The boss ain't eat no egg , he just likes watching and learning .
Tested and tried until you are for a better place to hold ...
A promotion will have to wait , my friend ... so be bold
And make progress everyday , without being told .
"Cause at the end of the day" , the boss will always say ...
An idea thought is of no use , ... produce it and sell it to him ,
then your chances aren't actually slim .
--- railmani
Thursday, November 25, 2004
chasing your dreams ...
I had a good learning experience recently ...
I have been working in my company for the last 5 months . I joined as a college recruit , with little or no knowledge about the company ( not that it mattered much at that time ) . Later on entering the company , I was chosen from among the freshers to be in one of the most happening projects in the company called "iobi" , ( something like a yahoo messenger , but with much more functionality , imagine getting your phonecalls on your office monitor and then forwarding it to your home phone or vice versa, handling ur mails and voice mails and all that stuff thru one application on ur desktop ! ) . Well , it was amazing the way this product was projected to us as freshers , special care was taken to make it appear special and it did !
At this point I was chosen as a recruit for this project which incidentally required c++ training experience ... the irony of the situation was that most of the people there were compsci people ... I was one of the small no. of tronix junta ... i was chosen and put into a project for undisclosed reasons over the programming bonds from iits and iiits !
Anyway , it was an unique and novel situation to be in for me . Getting placed in this company was mainly due to my ignorance or computer science subjects ... and getting through the 2 hr interviews ( 1 tech -> hr :)) was a breeze . And then again , singled out for my ignorance of the computer science ( i did ask a question to the head of this project at his presentation to the freshers " what hopes does an enc guy have at ur project " ) ...and for asking the right question .
Coming through all this , the expectations from the people at the project actually was and is pretty high .
Initially , getting to just be with my project partners ( totally 8 in no.including me ) was something not so easy , but slowly , things got better . We got to know each other better and even the boss who was himself a student a year back at ISB and he , us .
Some of my preconcieved notions about working in a software company came crashing down literally ! The idea that individual labour brings about more productivity cannot true in a software company . However brilliant you are , if u just take the trouble to or let down ur ego for a second , you can hit upon a better solution that can make life much better for you and the company and everybody else as a consequence !! I always thought that problem should always be taken head on and being at it for long periods of time will eventually break it down . But often I realised that the reverse is true , instead of the problem , you can end up broken down ! Thats when someone called a "boss" comes into picture . Though , ideally , say according to a person like Ayn Rand , or IR Rao for that matter , you should be mature enough to know that already and its natural and all, this is exactly what the boss figure kind should be equipped to handle !
If hes heading a group of programmers , he should have been or should still be a programmer himself/herself and empathise with the employee and offer help , suggestions , criticism wherever required . Nothing can be more disconcerting than to be under the thought that ur boss doesn't care about you , in turn u dont care about the job , and ultimately u screw up ur career , not his !
I was at some point of time last week , literally bored with the work I was given , it was like asking 7 night mare bots to play against one hurt me plenty !! Thats when I said it out loud to him . He took me in to the conference room and we had a 1:1 talk on what my misgivings were . I got a good lecture about" following one's passions " . If you want to do something especially more than you are , you should be that much more enthu in achieving it . Sitting at a place and complaining that its not coming will get nobody nowhere . Well , I got the message very clearly and as a reward for being open mouthed , I did get some work in my favourite area : graphics .
Chasing my dreams in this field or any other is something which I have never done fully at any time . My sketching skills are still sketchy , poetry is highly dependant on my mood ... programming not worth mentioning , but at the source of the problem lies something , believing that things will happen on their own . It does to some extent , I understood ... but to take it that far where u want to go , there is no substitute for hard work . And thats why ...this is one dream I am prepared to catch , the prize to be paid for this I dont know , but I will make it worth it .....
"man is the fountainhead of creation " - ayn rand
I have been working in my company for the last 5 months . I joined as a college recruit , with little or no knowledge about the company ( not that it mattered much at that time ) . Later on entering the company , I was chosen from among the freshers to be in one of the most happening projects in the company called "iobi" , ( something like a yahoo messenger , but with much more functionality , imagine getting your phonecalls on your office monitor and then forwarding it to your home phone or vice versa, handling ur mails and voice mails and all that stuff thru one application on ur desktop ! ) . Well , it was amazing the way this product was projected to us as freshers , special care was taken to make it appear special and it did !
At this point I was chosen as a recruit for this project which incidentally required c++ training experience ... the irony of the situation was that most of the people there were compsci people ... I was one of the small no. of tronix junta ... i was chosen and put into a project for undisclosed reasons over the programming bonds from iits and iiits !
Anyway , it was an unique and novel situation to be in for me . Getting placed in this company was mainly due to my ignorance or computer science subjects ... and getting through the 2 hr interviews ( 1 tech -> hr :)) was a breeze . And then again , singled out for my ignorance of the computer science ( i did ask a question to the head of this project at his presentation to the freshers " what hopes does an enc guy have at ur project " ) ...and for asking the right question .
Coming through all this , the expectations from the people at the project actually was and is pretty high .
Initially , getting to just be with my project partners ( totally 8 in no.including me ) was something not so easy , but slowly , things got better . We got to know each other better and even the boss who was himself a student a year back at ISB and he , us .
Some of my preconcieved notions about working in a software company came crashing down literally ! The idea that individual labour brings about more productivity cannot true in a software company . However brilliant you are , if u just take the trouble to or let down ur ego for a second , you can hit upon a better solution that can make life much better for you and the company and everybody else as a consequence !! I always thought that problem should always be taken head on and being at it for long periods of time will eventually break it down . But often I realised that the reverse is true , instead of the problem , you can end up broken down ! Thats when someone called a "boss" comes into picture . Though , ideally , say according to a person like Ayn Rand , or IR Rao for that matter , you should be mature enough to know that already and its natural and all, this is exactly what the boss figure kind should be equipped to handle !
If hes heading a group of programmers , he should have been or should still be a programmer himself/herself and empathise with the employee and offer help , suggestions , criticism wherever required . Nothing can be more disconcerting than to be under the thought that ur boss doesn't care about you , in turn u dont care about the job , and ultimately u screw up ur career , not his !
I was at some point of time last week , literally bored with the work I was given , it was like asking 7 night mare bots to play against one hurt me plenty !! Thats when I said it out loud to him . He took me in to the conference room and we had a 1:1 talk on what my misgivings were . I got a good lecture about" following one's passions " . If you want to do something especially more than you are , you should be that much more enthu in achieving it . Sitting at a place and complaining that its not coming will get nobody nowhere . Well , I got the message very clearly and as a reward for being open mouthed , I did get some work in my favourite area : graphics .
Chasing my dreams in this field or any other is something which I have never done fully at any time . My sketching skills are still sketchy , poetry is highly dependant on my mood ... programming not worth mentioning , but at the source of the problem lies something , believing that things will happen on their own . It does to some extent , I understood ... but to take it that far where u want to go , there is no substitute for hard work . And thats why ...this is one dream I am prepared to catch , the prize to be paid for this I dont know , but I will make it worth it .....
"man is the fountainhead of creation " - ayn rand
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
the stack is filling up
Whats happening to me these days ? I honestly feel I am letting go of apprehensions much easier than i used to ... a few years back and in childhood . I was an able suitor sometime back and now I am a regular at the gym ... even the instructor calls me "body builder "...that he calls almost everyone is another story altogether . And then the latest to the list goes my bicycle !
Yes you read right , I bought a cycle ... initially I argued with myself that a bike was a better option and I could roam the city with it and take the babes with me and all that ... but coming to think of it , the buses were a better option for long distance transport and there were no babes to talk of ... no gf either . And on the poisitive side , the sheer thrill of going downhill on gravity is exhilirating and when you think of all the money and petrol you are saving , and the calories you are burning , with the cycle actually going places ! ( no offence to the gym cycle ) ... its a gr8 feeling .
Today , I took the initiative and with a little help from the roomie from a different zone , I managed to get up and come all the way to office in guindy from adyar , cycling on sardar patel road ! Sounds impressive right ? Well , the actual figures are something like this , its about 5 km and quite a bit of the distance is downhill ... any way ,the ride back home ought be quite a challenge then .
Another member to be added to the stack of activities is the french renaissance ... actually this only refers to moi...and my revived will to learn a little further in that romantic language ..,
It seems the company is going to be good , with the madamoiselle who returned 'false' to a certain function call I made and a few others .
With the performance appraisal approaching , I am beginning to feel that I am not upto the mark , considering the amount of work partners have done and are willing to do compared to me . The work is just not inspiring to me ... is my argument , whether its valid or not I don't know ... but thats the way it is .
The time is 8 :55 and the day begins now ...
Yes you read right , I bought a cycle ... initially I argued with myself that a bike was a better option and I could roam the city with it and take the babes with me and all that ... but coming to think of it , the buses were a better option for long distance transport and there were no babes to talk of ... no gf either . And on the poisitive side , the sheer thrill of going downhill on gravity is exhilirating and when you think of all the money and petrol you are saving , and the calories you are burning , with the cycle actually going places ! ( no offence to the gym cycle ) ... its a gr8 feeling .
Today , I took the initiative and with a little help from the roomie from a different zone , I managed to get up and come all the way to office in guindy from adyar , cycling on sardar patel road ! Sounds impressive right ? Well , the actual figures are something like this , its about 5 km and quite a bit of the distance is downhill ... any way ,the ride back home ought be quite a challenge then .
Another member to be added to the stack of activities is the french renaissance ... actually this only refers to moi...and my revived will to learn a little further in that romantic language ..,
It seems the company is going to be good , with the madamoiselle who returned 'false' to a certain function call I made and a few others .
With the performance appraisal approaching , I am beginning to feel that I am not upto the mark , considering the amount of work partners have done and are willing to do compared to me . The work is just not inspiring to me ... is my argument , whether its valid or not I don't know ... but thats the way it is .
The time is 8 :55 and the day begins now ...
Thursday, November 18, 2004
post message
There is this thing in the stuff i work on , its called " post message " .... a VC++ function . It will ask some program to do a carry out some task and then continue on its path of execution .
I ve observed that this is the was that many people and teams also function in this and probably many other organisations . The boss gives the employee some work and goes on with his ... the teacher goes on teaching irrespective of whether the student has understood or not ... The prospective lover sends a bunch of messages on the mobile without waiting to check the reply to the first message he sent ... and after all the damage is done wonders why he didnt wait .
The disadvantages of this obvious , ... but that is the only way some things work ... I can think of a place where this method is both avoided and used a lot , the conference room. when one does not want anyone to ask any questions about what is going on , just don't give any details ...brush over and make sure everything sounds very convincing even its all crap . I ve seen it work with a lot of people ... even the most observant of leads sometimes go with the flow . The whole concept of email works on this principle ... if the recepient responds fine , otherwise what the hell... doesn't matter anyway !
Often the intranet chat also seems to take on this avatar ... where the person is not responding at will and to make her respond ... u need to post provocative messages or atleast something relatively more interesting than the previous time of post . If there was an award for the most creative ways of starting a chat ... i would definitely at least apply for it ! for I know some people who could be termed "cyber casanovas" .... one particular guy comes to my mind ... we used to call him "gutlee" , now hes breaking the hearts of many a mysore girl .
A very potent tool in the right hands , the intranet chat can also be a more potent tool in the hands of the organisation which wants to deal you a heavy hand ... cuase u would provide them with all the proof necessary to chuck u out if the necessity arose !! by chatting about all subjects under the sun ..on an infrastructure privided for "company purpaoses" whatever that may be .
All said and done , the electronic media is truly amazing ... with the kind of connectivity that we have now , theres no scope for romantic letters and long awaited telegrams and the like ,... everything is instantaneous and its all over in a few seconds ... this also applies to a lot of other things in the privacy of the home .
A thought to finish off" As the sphere of knowledge grows , the contact with the unknown increases .... " - psb
Its like a law, no contradiction anywhere and is universal ... think about it .
I ve observed that this is the was that many people and teams also function in this and probably many other organisations . The boss gives the employee some work and goes on with his ... the teacher goes on teaching irrespective of whether the student has understood or not ... The prospective lover sends a bunch of messages on the mobile without waiting to check the reply to the first message he sent ... and after all the damage is done wonders why he didnt wait .
The disadvantages of this obvious , ... but that is the only way some things work ... I can think of a place where this method is both avoided and used a lot , the conference room. when one does not want anyone to ask any questions about what is going on , just don't give any details ...brush over and make sure everything sounds very convincing even its all crap . I ve seen it work with a lot of people ... even the most observant of leads sometimes go with the flow . The whole concept of email works on this principle ... if the recepient responds fine , otherwise what the hell... doesn't matter anyway !
Often the intranet chat also seems to take on this avatar ... where the person is not responding at will and to make her respond ... u need to post provocative messages or atleast something relatively more interesting than the previous time of post . If there was an award for the most creative ways of starting a chat ... i would definitely at least apply for it ! for I know some people who could be termed "cyber casanovas" .... one particular guy comes to my mind ... we used to call him "gutlee" , now hes breaking the hearts of many a mysore girl .
A very potent tool in the right hands , the intranet chat can also be a more potent tool in the hands of the organisation which wants to deal you a heavy hand ... cuase u would provide them with all the proof necessary to chuck u out if the necessity arose !! by chatting about all subjects under the sun ..on an infrastructure privided for "company purpaoses" whatever that may be .
All said and done , the electronic media is truly amazing ... with the kind of connectivity that we have now , theres no scope for romantic letters and long awaited telegrams and the like ,... everything is instantaneous and its all over in a few seconds ... this also applies to a lot of other things in the privacy of the home .
A thought to finish off" As the sphere of knowledge grows , the contact with the unknown increases .... " - psb
Its like a law, no contradiction anywhere and is universal ... think about it .
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
a rhythm or a groove ?
Things seem to be getting more and more familiar now . The code , the partners , the office and all the people who come here everyday . Initially I was timid and having just learnt a lot of etiquette and stuff from the non technical training was out to please everyone . Made a lot of acquaintances . Practically spoke to everyone I had met earlier in the training . There were a few people who I did want to say a lot to . I think I ve managed to do that to . And now , the scene is changing slowly . The bosses , the colleagues all appear human and not wretched participants in a rat race . One thing I discovered about all of them . They have a sense of devotion to work .... I used to find this in college too . I too have it in me ... and this place is bringing it out ... but there are good days and then there are bad days .
On a good day , I get to office on time , or just a few minutes late and everything goes gr8 , I ask all the right questions and have some of the answers . The attitude is good on such days ... I am out to grab things ,but when u are feeling tired and sleepy or just plain disinterested , it imiediately shows on the faces of people around you . It makes you wonder what the hell is wrong with them , when in fact the problem lies with u!!
I read enuff fundas and hear them too to last me for a life time . Some are given by caring seniors , who generally say, be careful , plan well in advance to do what you want in the future .
This is something I am immediately unable to answer .
I got an interesting perspective on this issue ... "I am new to this work , but I want to give it my best shot , and effort and that is my goal " , said my illustrious roomie . Made me wonder ...
The developments in the fiasco of proposal are not many , I still communicate regularly with the dame , and its fun becoz that urge of impressing her with stuff is gone . Now we are really friends .
The diwali holidays are approaching , and the company did its bit by giving a big box of sweets to all employees - including tech , non tech and everyone else ..the same type of box . To put it in c++
The Company superclass , gave each employee thread an object containing an array of sweets ... and this resulted in a response which when decoded said " Making progress everyday - the motto is alive " ....
On a good day , I get to office on time , or just a few minutes late and everything goes gr8 , I ask all the right questions and have some of the answers . The attitude is good on such days ... I am out to grab things ,but when u are feeling tired and sleepy or just plain disinterested , it imiediately shows on the faces of people around you . It makes you wonder what the hell is wrong with them , when in fact the problem lies with u!!
I read enuff fundas and hear them too to last me for a life time . Some are given by caring seniors , who generally say, be careful , plan well in advance to do what you want in the future .
This is something I am immediately unable to answer .
I got an interesting perspective on this issue ... "I am new to this work , but I want to give it my best shot , and effort and that is my goal " , said my illustrious roomie . Made me wonder ...
The developments in the fiasco of proposal are not many , I still communicate regularly with the dame , and its fun becoz that urge of impressing her with stuff is gone . Now we are really friends .
The diwali holidays are approaching , and the company did its bit by giving a big box of sweets to all employees - including tech , non tech and everyone else ..the same type of box . To put it in c++
The Company superclass , gave each employee thread an object containing an array of sweets ... and this resulted in a response which when decoded said " Making progress everyday - the motto is alive " ....
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Blog of the century
A few years back, when I was in college ... I was faced with a situation . The situation that everyman fears probably more than death itself . I personally find it difficultt to believe that anyone except someone exceptionally sure of hinmself , or someone who seriously doesn't are about the consequeces can go to a girl and say to her " will you marry me ? " .
Now the number of people I know have done exactly that has increased from one to two .
Now let me get into the narrative ....
A few days back in this company I work, I had proposed to a girl and she had rejected it ...not summarily , but with a very strange reply . She said that her love was abroad in the states and he never reciprocated this feeling . Come to think of it , it seemed totally ridiculous to me at that time , a software engineer falling falling for such a sentimental trap .
And I ... even after knowing this , fell into the very same trap ...or rather was embezzled deeper into it as I tried not to . And this eventually led to my asking her the question that can make or break a relationship once again ...
Using all the logic and reasoning I had learnt from books , movies ,friends , relatives , going to be relatives and personal introspection , I presented very convincing arguments . The result was announced initially by the opponent , but who can stand up to reason and reasoning . Through the course of the conversation , the truth emerged . I was eventually shocked . I initially assume that a person tells the truth . And in this case I must have been blinded by the situation's novelty and its implications .
The whole story of a sentimental lover dreaming about a lost cause and story of a virtual widow and all that ....was as it really is ... a cock and bull story ..a big crock of shit , As Al Pacino says in "Scent of a woman " . The truth emerged as the lover being very real and very close .... living , ironically in the place of my birth !
The story ended with the my experience being updated in the relationship dept . And also that all things are'nt what they seem to be ... people aren't always truthful , who knows the reasons ? but it still remains a fact . So now, I can proudly say that I am "just friends " with a person and this will make many people feel "j" ... :)
I personally always say the truth , at least I don't lie through my teeth ... selective presentation of facts is the safest and most diplomatic approach to life in the office and sometimes personal as well .
I still have serious doubts to the question of "falling in love " phenomenon . Something which is sometimes very interesting to think about and at others the most banal concept ever . Anyway , I have entered the "single and looking " phase again and will for some time in the future :(
So , guys whoever is reading this , never let feelings get over reason ... reason is always right and "Contradictions do not exist , examine your premises "
Now the number of people I know have done exactly that has increased from one to two .
Now let me get into the narrative ....
A few days back in this company I work, I had proposed to a girl and she had rejected it ...not summarily , but with a very strange reply . She said that her love was abroad in the states and he never reciprocated this feeling . Come to think of it , it seemed totally ridiculous to me at that time , a software engineer falling falling for such a sentimental trap .
And I ... even after knowing this , fell into the very same trap ...or rather was embezzled deeper into it as I tried not to . And this eventually led to my asking her the question that can make or break a relationship once again ...
Using all the logic and reasoning I had learnt from books , movies ,friends , relatives , going to be relatives and personal introspection , I presented very convincing arguments . The result was announced initially by the opponent , but who can stand up to reason and reasoning . Through the course of the conversation , the truth emerged . I was eventually shocked . I initially assume that a person tells the truth . And in this case I must have been blinded by the situation's novelty and its implications .
The whole story of a sentimental lover dreaming about a lost cause and story of a virtual widow and all that ....was as it really is ... a cock and bull story ..a big crock of shit , As Al Pacino says in "Scent of a woman " . The truth emerged as the lover being very real and very close .... living , ironically in the place of my birth !
The story ended with the my experience being updated in the relationship dept . And also that all things are'nt what they seem to be ... people aren't always truthful , who knows the reasons ? but it still remains a fact . So now, I can proudly say that I am "just friends " with a person and this will make many people feel "j" ... :)
I personally always say the truth , at least I don't lie through my teeth ... selective presentation of facts is the safest and most diplomatic approach to life in the office and sometimes personal as well .
I still have serious doubts to the question of "falling in love " phenomenon . Something which is sometimes very interesting to think about and at others the most banal concept ever . Anyway , I have entered the "single and looking " phase again and will for some time in the future :(
So , guys whoever is reading this , never let feelings get over reason ... reason is always right and "Contradictions do not exist , examine your premises "
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Tiny nothings = something
Nothing of great consequence or significance to report today , but a lot of little things do keeo happening all the time . The little pings on the intranet , which are so pleasant when they are unexpected or for that matter even unexpected ...from the girl you like . The word "like" is used here because I am not sure of the feeling . I could go on about that and beat around the bush for an eternity ... but whats the point .
There was a really cool game in the mail today , one in which the mouse control was laterally inverted and you have to direct a square through mazes ...pretty difficult at sight , but for a q3 defragger , its no big deal . She was struggling to get through the 10 th level . I came back and finished it at a stretch ( 20 in all ) . Thus the game ceased to excite once it was done . Anyway , sitting next to her and doing it itself was worth it :)
A really pleasant surprise greeted me the other day, when Shrikanth told me about his crush in college . I couln't have found a more similar case like mine , but I refrained to counsel too much , because I myself am an experimental model . And the implications of wrong counsel could be huge .
The roomie is doing a lot of things in secret ... he suddenly got a snail mail from Tampa , Florida yesterday which ! I was so surprised ...that I wanted to open it immediately , but that was against my policy and so he was spared some embarassment and me some shame .
My natural flair for comedy is coming out now,all the people are familiar now in the project and this is acting like a catalyst . Pjs are so many a day that even gutlee might be shamed by the sheer cheek of the ppl cracking them .
Went shopping over the weekend , to Saravana stores ... only to be stuck in a human traffic jam . Come to think of it , it would be infinitely enjoyable if there were only young women in the crowd and you are the only guy in it . But the truth is far from the opposite even. The crowd is predominantly female and all are aunties and ajjis and girls ... shoving and pushing without any restraint . I was taken aback and stayed that way until I was safely through the stampede .
The city is teaching me things in a way I never learnt before !
Nothing can always be shown as something if rephrased in the right way and thats what I did for you right now , ... enjoy
There was a really cool game in the mail today , one in which the mouse control was laterally inverted and you have to direct a square through mazes ...pretty difficult at sight , but for a q3 defragger , its no big deal . She was struggling to get through the 10 th level . I came back and finished it at a stretch ( 20 in all ) . Thus the game ceased to excite once it was done . Anyway , sitting next to her and doing it itself was worth it :)
A really pleasant surprise greeted me the other day, when Shrikanth told me about his crush in college . I couln't have found a more similar case like mine , but I refrained to counsel too much , because I myself am an experimental model . And the implications of wrong counsel could be huge .
The roomie is doing a lot of things in secret ... he suddenly got a snail mail from Tampa , Florida yesterday which ! I was so surprised ...that I wanted to open it immediately , but that was against my policy and so he was spared some embarassment and me some shame .
My natural flair for comedy is coming out now,all the people are familiar now in the project and this is acting like a catalyst . Pjs are so many a day that even gutlee might be shamed by the sheer cheek of the ppl cracking them .
Went shopping over the weekend , to Saravana stores ... only to be stuck in a human traffic jam . Come to think of it , it would be infinitely enjoyable if there were only young women in the crowd and you are the only guy in it . But the truth is far from the opposite even. The crowd is predominantly female and all are aunties and ajjis and girls ... shoving and pushing without any restraint . I was taken aback and stayed that way until I was safely through the stampede .
The city is teaching me things in a way I never learnt before !
Nothing can always be shown as something if rephrased in the right way and thats what I did for you right now , ... enjoy
Friday, October 29, 2004
the gym
There have been no interesting developments of late . My engg drawing coaching was a big flop , considering my student (Shrikant - house owner's son) didn't do well in his test . Well ... in the time we had , which was about 2 hours , I did a fairly decent job of explaining the problems his teacher had done in class and hoodwink the students into believing that they had understood . Hmm , I always told him to follow what the teacher says and ask until understood . I followed this in school but later after entering the state board in 11th and 12th , there is very little of understanding in the classroom or for that matter even in tuitions . The whole focus lies on getting the portions completed and giving notes which will help in cracking the theory paper . I remember that when in school or in puc, I never understood the reason of doing labs . It was a big pain in the neck , ...it was because I didn't understand the theory in the first place . The whole point of labs was to consolidate on theory and convince oneself of the "Truth" .
Now that school and college is over , I have a 3rd person's pov on the student and i find it hard to see how anyone could be inspired by the way the subjects are taught in colleges . First of all , Engg Graphics must be taught by someone who loves to do it . Understanding it doesn't mean that he or she can teach it . Getting the message across is the more difficult job at hand .
Now coming to think of it , the job of teaching small kids addition and mutilplication and all that must be a really difficult job . I was punished by a teacher in school because i couldn't do multiplication after taking a leave on the previous class . That was really ridiculous it seems now , but at that time it was terribly unfair . Anyway , some learn and some give up , I learnt .
The situation is not really different nowadays , there are situations from which you can learn and improve ...its all upto you to take it up and make use of it . The boss today made sure that I learnt something about the "addressbook "today . Pretty simple actually , when someone who has done it already explains it to you .
On the social side , I am getting into a groove . Not really bothered about going out and making friends and all that now . My project partners are pretty ok to pass the time with and the work day goes fine. The last three days though have been unproductive ... no irs from my side for the last 3 days .
Anyway the weekend is approaching and theres a lot to be done in the gym ,
adios
Now that school and college is over , I have a 3rd person's pov on the student and i find it hard to see how anyone could be inspired by the way the subjects are taught in colleges . First of all , Engg Graphics must be taught by someone who loves to do it . Understanding it doesn't mean that he or she can teach it . Getting the message across is the more difficult job at hand .
Now coming to think of it , the job of teaching small kids addition and mutilplication and all that must be a really difficult job . I was punished by a teacher in school because i couldn't do multiplication after taking a leave on the previous class . That was really ridiculous it seems now , but at that time it was terribly unfair . Anyway , some learn and some give up , I learnt .
The situation is not really different nowadays , there are situations from which you can learn and improve ...its all upto you to take it up and make use of it . The boss today made sure that I learnt something about the "addressbook "today . Pretty simple actually , when someone who has done it already explains it to you .
On the social side , I am getting into a groove . Not really bothered about going out and making friends and all that now . My project partners are pretty ok to pass the time with and the work day goes fine. The last three days though have been unproductive ... no irs from my side for the last 3 days .
Anyway the weekend is approaching and theres a lot to be done in the gym ,
adios
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
inspired by DAL, invoked by kudva
This was written in response to Kudva's request for a poem to DAL ... if a disc jockey is called dj and a radio jockey is called rj , is a poem jockey a pj? 11
I walked along the beach one day ,
a place called adyar, far far away
at the crack of dawn I had a thought
how things were when I had with a passion fought
the scene was the hardware lab
i initially thought the partners were drab
there they were going for the circuit with gusto
i knew that if i wanted to make a difference i too had to grab
a chance to show i was as smart as a crab !
at a point of time when the going was tough
i could not listen and said it rough
"i do what i want, i work alone "
would have been better to have been hit by a stone !
than have the skinny guy throw moral at me
but behind the harangue there stood a man
a man with a firm beliefs and build so wee
all i did was give a smile so wan
follow his path i did and was taken back in
He sat through and made me understand grim
And thus made me a fan of him
Often when I was in a sticky place
In my thoughts or in the exam craze
The mind would grow dull
Thats when the time would come to go to DAL
With the right guidance at the right time ,
a lot of fun with it the exams were passed
For all this work , there had to be a fitting pay
And so the time was spent in virtual play
The arena beckoned all in many ways
Some lived there to frag and be fragged
Others watched with support that often swayed
DAL came,saw,commented ... with him it was never adrag
The place of learning never missed
A day without the perpetual pen
In the hands of DAL ..it wrote like it kissed
The paper , to which was added zen
Innocently he did what he knew best
But there were evil minds at work in the shadows
Crowd behaviour often threw caution to the windows
All sources of a noise was directed to DAL
By the jealous people of the learning hall
A good spirit he took it in and the laughter rangclear and true
why sometimes I had no clue .
The legend of DAL still grows in a different place Iknow
Some lucky dame is watching for sure
For some surprises sure will come to be thrown
And for a day which is past
I wish again and hope for a paid repast
from the one only DAL ti guy !
- Karthik
I walked along the beach one day ,
a place called adyar, far far away
at the crack of dawn I had a thought
how things were when I had with a passion fought
the scene was the hardware lab
i initially thought the partners were drab
there they were going for the circuit with gusto
i knew that if i wanted to make a difference i too had to grab
a chance to show i was as smart as a crab !
at a point of time when the going was tough
i could not listen and said it rough
"i do what i want, i work alone "
would have been better to have been hit by a stone !
than have the skinny guy throw moral at me
but behind the harangue there stood a man
a man with a firm beliefs and build so wee
all i did was give a smile so wan
follow his path i did and was taken back in
He sat through and made me understand grim
And thus made me a fan of him
Often when I was in a sticky place
In my thoughts or in the exam craze
The mind would grow dull
Thats when the time would come to go to DAL
With the right guidance at the right time ,
a lot of fun with it the exams were passed
For all this work , there had to be a fitting pay
And so the time was spent in virtual play
The arena beckoned all in many ways
Some lived there to frag and be fragged
Others watched with support that often swayed
DAL came,saw,commented ... with him it was never adrag
The place of learning never missed
A day without the perpetual pen
In the hands of DAL ..it wrote like it kissed
The paper , to which was added zen
Innocently he did what he knew best
But there were evil minds at work in the shadows
Crowd behaviour often threw caution to the windows
All sources of a noise was directed to DAL
By the jealous people of the learning hall
A good spirit he took it in and the laughter rangclear and true
why sometimes I had no clue .
The legend of DAL still grows in a different place Iknow
Some lucky dame is watching for sure
For some surprises sure will come to be thrown
And for a day which is past
I wish again and hope for a paid repast
from the one only DAL ti guy !
- Karthik
Thursday, October 21, 2004
dan dee yeah !
The hype was big and the food was sweet ... now I know the reason why the Gujjus are fat !
Of course the babes are hot , but thats a totally different issue altogther . The office cafe was sparkling with lights and a stubborn crowd . A part of it refusing to stop dancing and the others refusing to start dancing ...the latter being more .Joined the fun and petered out my energy quickly .. wonder how I ll be later in life ! Any way the short burst of energy is always worth it , esp if you have your special one beside you at least for a moment .
And then theres the work , today was a good day for me , showing some independance to myself first and then to the boss ...was most satisfying . Earning ones worth is really worth it , watsay ?
The nine nights approach ... thats what all the fuss is all about . The religion is present without even if not within my head !
Come to think of it , a thought came to my mind suddenly ... I like to face things alone and doing it in a crowd makes me feel insecure and unproductive and for many others its the other way around . Hmmm, maybe I could turn it into an advantage but then I do agree that the other factor is as maybe even more important in a workplace . After all who would like to help a guy who never speaks unless required .
The home beckons again ..more so because now I have the licence to ride a bike with gears and can go to unexplored territory within the home city ...but not much time to do so :)
Heading back home to help the dude with engg drawing is the present task ... gbye
Of course the babes are hot , but thats a totally different issue altogther . The office cafe was sparkling with lights and a stubborn crowd . A part of it refusing to stop dancing and the others refusing to start dancing ...the latter being more .Joined the fun and petered out my energy quickly .. wonder how I ll be later in life ! Any way the short burst of energy is always worth it , esp if you have your special one beside you at least for a moment .
And then theres the work , today was a good day for me , showing some independance to myself first and then to the boss ...was most satisfying . Earning ones worth is really worth it , watsay ?
The nine nights approach ... thats what all the fuss is all about . The religion is present without even if not within my head !
Come to think of it , a thought came to my mind suddenly ... I like to face things alone and doing it in a crowd makes me feel insecure and unproductive and for many others its the other way around . Hmmm, maybe I could turn it into an advantage but then I do agree that the other factor is as maybe even more important in a workplace . After all who would like to help a guy who never speaks unless required .
The home beckons again ..more so because now I have the licence to ride a bike with gears and can go to unexplored territory within the home city ...but not much time to do so :)
Heading back home to help the dude with engg drawing is the present task ... gbye
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Listening .. a great quality
At times in the office , it gets so frustrating when you don't get feedback from the people around you ... whether you areof any help to them when u take your time out and help them or when your boss is happy with your work or not or just when your friends seem to be in silent mood .
The last is the main reason my mind works overtime creating imaginary plots and possible solutions for them and then fail them and again start over . It can get to be a very tiring process... the immediate and most feasible solution is to tell someone about it . Once thats done, some how the load just lifts . I discovered this thing very late in life :) but still just the same better late than never .
Also the average woman likes the communicating guy much better than the silent brooder . Having been both selectively for quite some time now , I have been through a mixture of responses . The knowledge of what is to be done and what not to be done doesnt necessarily mean that you can immediately go out and start doing it , right ? maybe you can , but for me its always been a slow process ... esp in matters which involve other people .
Today , in a familiar group discussion , just a hangout kind of people who know each other .. I did it again and was feeling left out ... generally you can't hang out with someone just sitting there doing nothing right ? Thats the reason I feel so stupid sometimes ... something like writer's block , or just plain cynicism donno . Anyway , I was brooding about it and decided to tell someone about it and the girl I had/have a crush on was the logical person . She listened or rather read and that was more than I wanted . I didnt need any solutions ..that comes around eventually , but that made my day :) ...although it was well into the night .
The quakers of college have revived to some extent , thanks some to yours truly and the "dot "
Great networking happening for me on the written frontier but the oral is lacking drastically .
Anyway , tomorrow is the dandiya dance in the cafeteria and that must be fun ... all the girls , some pretty are gonna be there . Still not decided whether to dance or not . Will see ...
Boozing for it is not an option , so ... it has to be conscious and for that i need to sleep now . Good night , dreamless sleep
The last is the main reason my mind works overtime creating imaginary plots and possible solutions for them and then fail them and again start over . It can get to be a very tiring process... the immediate and most feasible solution is to tell someone about it . Once thats done, some how the load just lifts . I discovered this thing very late in life :) but still just the same better late than never .
Also the average woman likes the communicating guy much better than the silent brooder . Having been both selectively for quite some time now , I have been through a mixture of responses . The knowledge of what is to be done and what not to be done doesnt necessarily mean that you can immediately go out and start doing it , right ? maybe you can , but for me its always been a slow process ... esp in matters which involve other people .
Today , in a familiar group discussion , just a hangout kind of people who know each other .. I did it again and was feeling left out ... generally you can't hang out with someone just sitting there doing nothing right ? Thats the reason I feel so stupid sometimes ... something like writer's block , or just plain cynicism donno . Anyway , I was brooding about it and decided to tell someone about it and the girl I had/have a crush on was the logical person . She listened or rather read and that was more than I wanted . I didnt need any solutions ..that comes around eventually , but that made my day :) ...although it was well into the night .
The quakers of college have revived to some extent , thanks some to yours truly and the "dot "
Great networking happening for me on the written frontier but the oral is lacking drastically .
Anyway , tomorrow is the dandiya dance in the cafeteria and that must be fun ... all the girls , some pretty are gonna be there . Still not decided whether to dance or not . Will see ...
Boozing for it is not an option , so ... it has to be conscious and for that i need to sleep now . Good night , dreamless sleep
Monday, October 18, 2004
Waning and new interests
The day I lost to "sir" in quake , not once , but several times is still fresh in my mind . The humiliation of defeat is not one of the things I am used to taking .But when its rubbed in again and again its getting to me . If I win a match against him , I will literally .... this brings back memories of IR Rao and his first year "fiasco" ... not really a fiasco but ...
The time of the year was august 2000 I think ..and at that time , I had just entered one of the best colleges ( engg) in India . I was living amongst the smartest people in the country ... popular belief says that iits rate top and then come recs in the second rung ... I don't know about that , my pals in coll were simply amazing . I too was one among them at some point of time . It was a mental block which its all about . Education ... as it is suppposed to be was something and is something of a dream . That dream can only be lived by you , if are ready to take the effort to convert that vision into reality . That was what IRR wanted to show us in that short time we spent with him in first semester.
Honest thoughts from the heart and each hour spent with him was a glorious experience ...learning the true " meaning " of meaning itself . I for one didnt know that a ten ruppee note was not actually 10 Rs , but a representation of ten ruppees . A ruppee is a value which is represented by a coin with ruppee written on it ... its not a ruppee itself !
Well, its twisted ... I know but when told the way we were told by Mr.Rao , things can't be forgotten . Sushya has the distinction of having said to the gr8 man " Your paper was easy "
about his unsolvable sessional papers (mid terms in iim terms) and that at that time was the greatest thing I had seen in my life . And so life went on peacefully , until one day the girls complained to him about the lewd stuff some of the perverted guys had written . Proceeding from there on ... we received a great deal of gyaan told in the IRR style . Perversion was redefined by the man , until it was so firmly established in my mind that its hard coded in my brain I think .
The remedial measures we were to take to restore the class's respect in our own eyes was to scrape off the filth from the tables and chairs and revarnish the furniture ! It seemed ridiculous to accede to such a request especially if u were n't guilty .But I was a little guilty ..of drawing a batman figure on a table . And so I joined the ranks of the guilty ( inspired was I by the man ) and did my part in cleaning the tables and chairs . And after that the amount of trust shown by the man in our actions made each of us proud . Still can't forget the feeling at that point in space and time . I seriously doubt I will meet anyone like that again ... or hope to become like him 11
The life as a software engineer goes on ... the feeling of novelty is wearing off slowly ... but the feeling of familiarity with the colleagues is welcome . The partners I never used to speak with are reducing in number . But there is still one girl ... donno what to do about it , so I ll leave it at at that ... professionalism is enough right ? at the workplace , can you be friends with all , is it necessary ? any comments are welcome .
I recently found a treasurehouse of stories on my office intranet ... gr8 asimov and many others present !! Spent the major portion of the day following a story ..." the bicentennial man " ..learnt that the movie is not all that loyal to the story . There were a lot of additions to the original story to make it more watchable . In the end I ll say the movie is a really great adaptation and modification ... the unanswered call of "andrew", the robot who turns human after 2 centuries ... is answered in the movie version, makes the viewer happy and I too really liked it .Typically in novels such ends are left incomplete and are meant to leave the readers think about ... no moral conclusion is offered ... rather thought if provoked ... thats why I love sci fi . gr8 read , worth the time spent .
thats it for the day ... this makes my load of words a lot lighter :)
The time of the year was august 2000 I think ..and at that time , I had just entered one of the best colleges ( engg) in India . I was living amongst the smartest people in the country ... popular belief says that iits rate top and then come recs in the second rung ... I don't know about that , my pals in coll were simply amazing . I too was one among them at some point of time . It was a mental block which its all about . Education ... as it is suppposed to be was something and is something of a dream . That dream can only be lived by you , if are ready to take the effort to convert that vision into reality . That was what IRR wanted to show us in that short time we spent with him in first semester.
Honest thoughts from the heart and each hour spent with him was a glorious experience ...learning the true " meaning " of meaning itself . I for one didnt know that a ten ruppee note was not actually 10 Rs , but a representation of ten ruppees . A ruppee is a value which is represented by a coin with ruppee written on it ... its not a ruppee itself !
Well, its twisted ... I know but when told the way we were told by Mr.Rao , things can't be forgotten . Sushya has the distinction of having said to the gr8 man " Your paper was easy "
about his unsolvable sessional papers (mid terms in iim terms) and that at that time was the greatest thing I had seen in my life . And so life went on peacefully , until one day the girls complained to him about the lewd stuff some of the perverted guys had written . Proceeding from there on ... we received a great deal of gyaan told in the IRR style . Perversion was redefined by the man , until it was so firmly established in my mind that its hard coded in my brain I think .
The remedial measures we were to take to restore the class's respect in our own eyes was to scrape off the filth from the tables and chairs and revarnish the furniture ! It seemed ridiculous to accede to such a request especially if u were n't guilty .But I was a little guilty ..of drawing a batman figure on a table . And so I joined the ranks of the guilty ( inspired was I by the man ) and did my part in cleaning the tables and chairs . And after that the amount of trust shown by the man in our actions made each of us proud . Still can't forget the feeling at that point in space and time . I seriously doubt I will meet anyone like that again ... or hope to become like him 11
The life as a software engineer goes on ... the feeling of novelty is wearing off slowly ... but the feeling of familiarity with the colleagues is welcome . The partners I never used to speak with are reducing in number . But there is still one girl ... donno what to do about it , so I ll leave it at at that ... professionalism is enough right ? at the workplace , can you be friends with all , is it necessary ? any comments are welcome .
I recently found a treasurehouse of stories on my office intranet ... gr8 asimov and many others present !! Spent the major portion of the day following a story ..." the bicentennial man " ..learnt that the movie is not all that loyal to the story . There were a lot of additions to the original story to make it more watchable . In the end I ll say the movie is a really great adaptation and modification ... the unanswered call of "andrew", the robot who turns human after 2 centuries ... is answered in the movie version, makes the viewer happy and I too really liked it .Typically in novels such ends are left incomplete and are meant to leave the readers think about ... no moral conclusion is offered ... rather thought if provoked ... thats why I love sci fi . gr8 read , worth the time spent .
thats it for the day ... this makes my load of words a lot lighter :)
Thursday, October 14, 2004
return of the "jeddi"
I am "Back with a bang" , (remembering the first T shirt the bangys designed in the first year in college ) ... the college memories were recently stirred by the convocation ceremony held last weekend . Expectations were high on my part . I was hoping the whole quakers community of the batch of 2k4 would be there to celebrate the "final orgy " , but disappointment awaited me .
I made a big mistake of not spending time with the people there and sitting in front of the dumb ole pcs watching quake demos and playing ctf ...
Nothing remarkable happened in those two days ... the hype for the convocation was big ...real big , especially the enc crowd was there to make it all happen ... The best outgoing student , the D's , the kandu fundus , the trimurthys , the manis and everyone else came from the four corners of the country ... the closest corner being bangalore
Meeting the teachers wasn't a plan in my schedule , but I did try to speak to mom ... but ditched it when i found she wasn't really interested .
On the high side , saw some great quake demos and vids , defrag rocks ...!!!! great people those guys are who can fly around with rocket jumps and climb walls with plasma guns . And then the final between czm and zero4 was ammmazing !!
The way z4 gets raped by this kiddish looking guy ..czm , the arena was ztn and the quality of gaming was just amazing ..I used to think that unkind was the god in this particular arena ...but czm is ulti ulti .
The office life is going on .... development work is happening ... finally . Got a feel of the future today in a teleconference and later a code merge. Very cool watching this happen ...
will continue tomorrow with more exciting stuff (11)
ciao
I made a big mistake of not spending time with the people there and sitting in front of the dumb ole pcs watching quake demos and playing ctf ...
Nothing remarkable happened in those two days ... the hype for the convocation was big ...real big , especially the enc crowd was there to make it all happen ... The best outgoing student , the D's , the kandu fundus , the trimurthys , the manis and everyone else came from the four corners of the country ... the closest corner being bangalore
Meeting the teachers wasn't a plan in my schedule , but I did try to speak to mom ... but ditched it when i found she wasn't really interested .
On the high side , saw some great quake demos and vids , defrag rocks ...!!!! great people those guys are who can fly around with rocket jumps and climb walls with plasma guns . And then the final between czm and zero4 was ammmazing !!
The way z4 gets raped by this kiddish looking guy ..czm , the arena was ztn and the quality of gaming was just amazing ..I used to think that unkind was the god in this particular arena ...but czm is ulti ulti .
The office life is going on .... development work is happening ... finally . Got a feel of the future today in a teleconference and later a code merge. Very cool watching this happen ...
will continue tomorrow with more exciting stuff (11)
ciao
Sunday, October 03, 2004
monday morns
A weekend at home has a good effect of relaxing the nerves ... makes the world seem much les dependant on the stuff that goes on in office . The newly earned status of a working man is also very nice ... dad is not as stubborn as he used to be earlier and well , I don't have to ask him for money each time for anything i need ... not that he ever refused , but there is no guilty feeling now :)
Anyway you are now reading the blog of a valid licence holder for 2 and 4 wheelers , whats the bige deal u may ask ... it is , becoz a car was always something like a space ship for me , some kind of a divine vehicle which ony the rich had and only the great drove ... but now I am doing it ! so its even better . About the bike , well I love riding the bike , because being on it , man and machine is the best feeling sometimes ... signifies a passion and a drive and a will to break barriers .
Convocation is approaching soon , and well looking at the nitk homepage , it seems pretty clear I won't be able to collect my degree certificate in person , although I will be available there ... pretty lousy , but I deserve it I know . The ceremony may not be great but having that photo sitting (standing) among the smartest people in the country would have been a great thing .
There might be a sloution, got to go there and check it out I guess .
The plans for the quake games are on though . The juniors will be instrumental in this thing , if they don't theres no point in going at all .
The week begins again ... and this time , I am before time for work ! !! , hope the lack of sleep in the train doesn't get me this time too ... otherwise looking forward to the weekend , incidentally I had a lot of ideas about starting some kind of enthu over here to make people start writing actual mails and not just forward things as they do indiscriminately . Will go about it and then report ; )
Getting back to work ......
Anyway you are now reading the blog of a valid licence holder for 2 and 4 wheelers , whats the bige deal u may ask ... it is , becoz a car was always something like a space ship for me , some kind of a divine vehicle which ony the rich had and only the great drove ... but now I am doing it ! so its even better . About the bike , well I love riding the bike , because being on it , man and machine is the best feeling sometimes ... signifies a passion and a drive and a will to break barriers .
Convocation is approaching soon , and well looking at the nitk homepage , it seems pretty clear I won't be able to collect my degree certificate in person , although I will be available there ... pretty lousy , but I deserve it I know . The ceremony may not be great but having that photo sitting (standing) among the smartest people in the country would have been a great thing .
There might be a sloution, got to go there and check it out I guess .
The plans for the quake games are on though . The juniors will be instrumental in this thing , if they don't theres no point in going at all .
The week begins again ... and this time , I am before time for work ! !! , hope the lack of sleep in the train doesn't get me this time too ... otherwise looking forward to the weekend , incidentally I had a lot of ideas about starting some kind of enthu over here to make people start writing actual mails and not just forward things as they do indiscriminately . Will go about it and then report ; )
Getting back to work ......
Thursday, September 30, 2004
tension kai ko lene ka ?
Well , the documentation night mare isn't over , but the hot head phenomenon has subsided (hopefully for good) and a new perspective is making the going easier . Communication with the boss is very important , I learnt yesterday ... the issue was that I was putting pressure on myself to complete a job which takes time to be done well... and I was trying to speed up without asking his opinion... eventually though I did ask him how I was doing, and surprisingly he really meant that there was no problem and time was not a problem , the quality mattered .
Relief is a great feeling especially because going home for the weekend without any office thoughts is very important ! else my hands would be in bangalore and my mind in chennai :)
I did a really gr8 thing today (??) ... I told a girl that I had a crush on her . I didn't know what to expect cause it was my first time ever . Shes a cool one , though and has no problem talking with all the guys in the company unlike me with a withdrawn approach to girls . Well .... I am not sure what I am going to do next , so work will go on as usual . ... until then missing (in) office
Relief is a great feeling especially because going home for the weekend without any office thoughts is very important ! else my hands would be in bangalore and my mind in chennai :)
I did a really gr8 thing today (??) ... I told a girl that I had a crush on her . I didn't know what to expect cause it was my first time ever . Shes a cool one , though and has no problem talking with all the guys in the company unlike me with a withdrawn approach to girls . Well .... I am not sure what I am going to do next , so work will go on as usual . ... until then missing (in) office
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
early bird gets the worm???
The day started off with getting up to the sound of my watch alarm which wasn't loud enuff and repititive enough to get me out of bed and running . Reached the office at 10 30 , although I am supposed to be here by 9 am . Well , the reason is very noble , its to get used to the future steady job requirements ... but in 2 days , its difficult to change ... eventually it will happen though .
The documentation will go on i guess , because its not as simple as it looks . Working alone is still not very comfortable , need help at some point or the other . Everybody's busy fixing ir's , ... i am still a v'ir'gin heheheh :)
An insightful comment made me go back at the job , with some renewed josh , but this heat in the head is really making my life miserable . I don't know how it will be percieved if I told my boss ... as earlier my doc told me it was just my imagination . How can that be possible ?
Anyway , one thing is for sure , it happens only when I am working on the code ... any answers my readers ( if getcount(readers) > 0) ;)
Not the most popular guy around , but being percieved as a loner is not good for me , I know ...and being told by another is even worse . I can't be normal in the office with all the stack in my head with stuff from the code - makes me less than human -- more like a machine .
That reminds me "The Matrix" was a gr8 movie for many reasons ... especially for the "mentally enslaved " ... the human workforce to operate machines communicating in the machine's language so that other ppl can then use these machines .
Well ... life goes on ....without quake ,and with out excercise . The moment of joy when the boss says "good " lasts for a very short time ...but at least it was there . The time spent at the workplace is increasing ... procrastination ... slow learning , lack of motivation ... whatever maybe , the *%()%( " hot head " is killing me
The documentation will go on i guess , because its not as simple as it looks . Working alone is still not very comfortable , need help at some point or the other . Everybody's busy fixing ir's , ... i am still a v'ir'gin heheheh :)
An insightful comment made me go back at the job , with some renewed josh , but this heat in the head is really making my life miserable . I don't know how it will be percieved if I told my boss ... as earlier my doc told me it was just my imagination . How can that be possible ?
Anyway , one thing is for sure , it happens only when I am working on the code ... any answers my readers ( if getcount(readers) > 0) ;)
Not the most popular guy around , but being percieved as a loner is not good for me , I know ...and being told by another is even worse . I can't be normal in the office with all the stack in my head with stuff from the code - makes me less than human -- more like a machine .
That reminds me "The Matrix" was a gr8 movie for many reasons ... especially for the "mentally enslaved " ... the human workforce to operate machines communicating in the machine's language so that other ppl can then use these machines .
Well ... life goes on ....without quake ,and with out excercise . The moment of joy when the boss says "good " lasts for a very short time ...but at least it was there . The time spent at the workplace is increasing ... procrastination ... slow learning , lack of motivation ... whatever maybe , the *%()%( " hot head " is killing me
Monday, September 27, 2004
documentation nightmare
On a day in the recent past , when I was still in the blissfuk days of preemployment and post college days , my brother told me of a "law". This law he said is nothing less than the "Newton's law of management " ... it goes like this : "Any work u do, will always expand to fit in the time allocated or available ( <=) " . I don't know the gr8 person who framed it , but u r right dude ... I am in the middle of ur law's consequences . My flow documentation is going on forever and forever ... yeah there were a few extraneous factors which did go against my favour ... but in this "grab ur chance " kind of world ... well u got to grab it . "Karorepathi kumar" voices all the thoughts in his head to all and sundry ..indiscriminately ..and especially to the "lead" ... and thus gets all the attention( and yeah another credit to the guy who said " the crying baby gets the milk) .
The flows went on for the best part of the last 2 weeks ... everybody took their time and then bang it was my turn out of the blue ... the feedback came and the work stacked up . Unstacking it is going on .... painfully slow , I always say ..go for the bigger picture and then everything will fall in place ... but to apply it in this scenario ( hehehe) will take a dude ... i know a few of those knid . Anyway , the details get me so engrossed , I either ignore them completely or go so deep into them that they eventually lead me into blind alleys or just dead ends . I found out with the help of "opener " Halid today that the dead and forgotten flows resurrect at some point and the tool of resurrection is the innocent ^$%*$%* debugger .
Whatevers happened for the weekend is so so distant , I need a $%&^ break from this stuff ... breathlessly waiting for the coming thursday night and to home sweet home i will return .
The Boss from "onshore " leaves today ... gr8 guy , can "basically " get things moving ... inicdentally I found out he was one of the guys responsible for starting the project I'm in ... so destiny intertwined the fates of so many of us ... OnResponse() to that Event ;)
He got a farewell gift from the entire floor and "basically" he was smiling all the way to the exit .
Expectations are real high it seems ... the focus being on fixing IRs ! I ve got a few choice words to say about IRs ... will save them for later . The only thing in this whole thing I am interested in doing is creating something or atleast look at something visual ... hope the dude who said " everything comes to him who waits " gets a kudos from my side .
Getting out of here with the documentation safely done is what i am going to do .... or try to do
adios
The flows went on for the best part of the last 2 weeks ... everybody took their time and then bang it was my turn out of the blue ... the feedback came and the work stacked up . Unstacking it is going on .... painfully slow , I always say ..go for the bigger picture and then everything will fall in place ... but to apply it in this scenario ( hehehe) will take a dude ... i know a few of those knid . Anyway , the details get me so engrossed , I either ignore them completely or go so deep into them that they eventually lead me into blind alleys or just dead ends . I found out with the help of "opener " Halid today that the dead and forgotten flows resurrect at some point and the tool of resurrection is the innocent ^$%*$%* debugger .
Whatevers happened for the weekend is so so distant , I need a $%&^ break from this stuff ... breathlessly waiting for the coming thursday night and to home sweet home i will return .
The Boss from "onshore " leaves today ... gr8 guy , can "basically " get things moving ... inicdentally I found out he was one of the guys responsible for starting the project I'm in ... so destiny intertwined the fates of so many of us ... OnResponse() to that Event ;)
He got a farewell gift from the entire floor and "basically" he was smiling all the way to the exit .
Expectations are real high it seems ... the focus being on fixing IRs ! I ve got a few choice words to say about IRs ... will save them for later . The only thing in this whole thing I am interested in doing is creating something or atleast look at something visual ... hope the dude who said " everything comes to him who waits " gets a kudos from my side .
Getting out of here with the documentation safely done is what i am going to do .... or try to do
adios
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Still on the weekend
Today's a sunday ... but theres still work left over :(
Thats just the tip of the ice berg ..the problem runs much deeper , is it because I am too slow at doing the assigned work or because its so boring and mechanical that I can't stand it I don't know .... but yeah on thing is for sure , it needs to be done by tonight !
The day appeared dreary as it began at 12 pm ( when I was awoken by manmadha raasa's call ) ... but it turned out to be real fun as I got treated to a great lunch and an enjoyable movie . The movie wasn't enjoyable because of its quality , but because it was trying to wrap the weak script and lack of story so hard , that it was an insult to the senses .... not all senses though ;)
Diya Mirza heated up the screen initially with a zabardast striptease ...though she ain't as voluptuous as I would have liked . But nevertheless she was bloody HOT , wearing next to nothing. And not to forget the smoches , really shocking (pleasantly ) the way smooches are appearing out of context everywhere . Wonder when they will happen in the right context ?
Anyway , there was big group of people and the generous benefactors of the treat made sure the food was filling ( thank you so much aish,manmadha raasa , and anusha ) and the movie was fun too .
Now back to the present , I am back at the office finishing off the work ... positively said this time ... a few words of advice from the pros do help occasionally ... well , I gotta be getting back to work then , tomorrow is "judgement day" (:+())
Thats just the tip of the ice berg ..the problem runs much deeper , is it because I am too slow at doing the assigned work or because its so boring and mechanical that I can't stand it I don't know .... but yeah on thing is for sure , it needs to be done by tonight !
The day appeared dreary as it began at 12 pm ( when I was awoken by manmadha raasa's call ) ... but it turned out to be real fun as I got treated to a great lunch and an enjoyable movie . The movie wasn't enjoyable because of its quality , but because it was trying to wrap the weak script and lack of story so hard , that it was an insult to the senses .... not all senses though ;)
Diya Mirza heated up the screen initially with a zabardast striptease ...though she ain't as voluptuous as I would have liked . But nevertheless she was bloody HOT , wearing next to nothing. And not to forget the smoches , really shocking (pleasantly ) the way smooches are appearing out of context everywhere . Wonder when they will happen in the right context ?
Anyway , there was big group of people and the generous benefactors of the treat made sure the food was filling ( thank you so much aish,manmadha raasa , and anusha ) and the movie was fun too .
Now back to the present , I am back at the office finishing off the work ... positively said this time ... a few words of advice from the pros do help occasionally ... well , I gotta be getting back to work then , tomorrow is "judgement day" (:+())
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