Me

sleepless in bangalore....

Its been more than 3 weeks at home now ... by far the longest stretch of time I 've ever spent at home ...properly . At times , the boredom gets to me and makes me do crazy things . I remember in college , everyday was a day of "manmaani" ,towards the end at aleast . After beginning work , this continued for some time but you know what happens once you start working , routine becomes a way of life or at least unavoidable . And so it happened to me as well in Chennai. But suddenly one day I had a bittersweet surprise ... I had jaundice ! This forced me to bunk office and stay at home like a caged tiger who had been suddenly put on a vegetarian diet (hehe) .

Coming to the point , yesterday night(or is it yesternight? ) , I was lying in bed ... it was around 12 am . I just couldn't sleep , and thats when it happened . I had a flashback of many major things which happened in my life . Right from the time I had some of my most difficult confrontations ... which were mostly in school to the time I had in college . School brought back some bitter sweet memories . I had very few friends in school ... and only one was close ...and in my mind everything we did and all the stories he told me came as a flood . Delving deeper into each incident and conversation we had had , I remembered how much I had admired him at one point of time , and how much things had changed over ... 10 years ! Coming to think of it , he has hardly changed , he still looks the same , talks the same ... but yeah once out of school , we shot out in totally different directions . The four years I spent in college , I totally forgot about him and when I did remember it made me feel guilty for not keeping in touch for such a long time . Somehow through very rare phone calls I had a vague idea what he was upto . College finished , we met a couple of times , I started working in Chennai and after a year's time I got in touch and the response was as cordial as ever . We planned to meet up and that is an event in the future .

Memories of one friend brought back memories of other friends . One of them I can never forget , he was my classmate in P U college and I still remember some where at the end of first PU , he had a realisation ... that life is serious and only hard work will pay. His self esteem was hurt when we used to call him a particularly annoying name . And for sometime he took it and then one fine day he stopped responding ... he stopped hanging out with us . I was a bit closer to him than the rest and on approaching him I found out what the meaning of an "ego " was . I had it myself , but seeing it so strong in another person was a revealing experience . True to his word , he never joined us again and surprised everyone by doing very well in the exams and the CET !
He did better than me , but when he realised that I had something called reservation , he spurned me and my friendship ... and went his own way . Thats something I doubt I 'll see again in my life ... a valuable lesson on perception .

Many more memories ran through my mind that night , but I ll save them for another day ... there is something more interesting I want to say . Somewhere in the middle of this memory bank flood I decided to read something . Getting up , I went to the book shelf and found among the many books my bro had bought and never read (!) a book called "The Betrayal and other short stories" by Sivasankari . The first story was kind of big , so I read some of the smaller ones .And to my pleasant surprise I found them really fun ! The stories were actually written in Tamil and then "transcreated"(the word on the book) to English by a couple of ladies . Most of them dealt with middle class families ... and the point of view was usually that of a house wife ... if you ever wondered what could possibly go on in the mind of a housewife , this you got to read . From just what goes on in the mind of a lady bored at staying at home the whole day to what happens to one who suffers a loveless marriage and how she deals with a "unfaithful" husband (this one is brilliant ... "The betrayal") . Each story other than the first one is quite small , but the number of issues it raises about the life of a woman , whether a child , or an old lady and the insights it provides at family life and its delicate intricacies are mind blowing ... believe me ... there are not too many books which impress me so much . I was so engrossed , I stayed up the whole night and finished it off ! At the end of it all , I saw the cost of the book . It cost a mere 90 bucks ... now thats something which we spend so easily on a meal every day which more often than not we forget in a day . But this book I ll never forget ...

I went to sleep at 6 am and got up only at 11 am much to the chagrin of my dad ... but sleeplessness put to good use can bring a smile to your face many years later ...

anniyan ...

In college , there was a guy called "dhevaru" (god, in kannada ) who once told me I should be given the title "onegar of krec" (complainer of krec) ... because i had a very vocal way of venting my dissatisfaction about anything out of place . That was one point of view ...anyway that came to my mind cause i am gonna write a movie review .

A couple of months back I got a video through mail in office ... it was a trailer of "anniyan" ... a film by shankar (indian , boys,mudhalvan....) . I am relative newbie to popular tamil cinema , but once i went to chennai and got along with the local folk there , my view of tamil , tamil cinema ... changed quite a bit . I had to admit there was some real talented work happening there .

Anniyan is a story about a very "paavum" guy (innocent...bechara) who is a lawyer and can't tolerate injustice in any form ... (brings to mind a line from somewhere ..."its not the magnitude that matters , its the nature of the action ") . He faces situations which cause deep impressions to be left on his psyche . His kid sister dies early in his childhood becoz of electrocution on the roadside due the negligence of many people . Everybody goes scot free because the crime cant be pinned on anyone in particular . And as he grows up , he falls in love with a girl who is his relative in some way( could nt make out) but is unable to express it . This is another source of fuel for his emotional pressure cooker . He becomes a lawyer who upholds justice in every little thing possible and this as expected is percieved as eccentric (Howard Roark would have been proud of this guy ! ) . People treat him condescendingly and don't take him seriously .

His life goes on in this very unsatisfactory way until one day something in his mind gives way and he becomes what his deepest subconsious wants him to be . To take care of the injustice around he becomes "anniyan" , who in his mind is the care taker of the hindu hell "narakam" . The best part about this is he himself doesn't know that his brain is multi tasking to run many operating systems ! So our pal the lawyer complains about the wrongs happening in chennai through a website anniyan.com to his alter ego "anniyan" . And anniyan punishes the guilty with death as prescribed in the vedas for "judgement day" . The most gruesome punishment of them all I felt was when he ties up a guy and adorns him with gigantic leeches ... they squeeze him dry to leave something grouse behind.

As if one alter ego wasnt enough , another comes up .."remo" ... ramp walk model . This guys created by his mind to satisfy the romantic urges of our hero . He patafies the babe easily with his cool attitude and crazy stunts (like walking backwards on a heavy traffic road) . Things go well for the alter egos , but our hero is as dissatisfied as ever . The babe commits a heinous crime right in front of his eyes , the crime being tax evasion ! In a short time "anniyan" is after her ... and owing to the babe being a very familiar person , the processor ...the hero's mind gets confused and the alter egos "remo" and "anniyan" with conflicting interests in her come and go rapidly , one trying to kill and the other protect . A superb fight sequence with an entire kung fu school ensues as anniyan tries to punish the babe . Anniyan , wins hands down , but the babe is nt just a babe ... she has a brain too ! ... she realises that its the same guy whos remo and anniyan and the lawyer . Appealing to his mushy side (though she doesnt really care abt him) ... she escapes and eventually gets him to NIMHANS.

Diagnosed for multiple personality disorder , the babe falls for him , for evidently hes crazy abt him . This apparently is an exit sign for the remo alter ego . But anniyan is still on the loose . In the true "Indian" style , anniyan organises a town hall meeting to spread public awareness about his one man "punisher " company . Having done that , and made the people pee in their pants with "al qaeda" style videos , he manages to give a slip to the cops ... namely prakash raj whose bro anniyan fried in oil earlier for serving bad food on a train . Seeking revenge , the cop traces out our hero and gets him a torture room to make him admit his crimes . He uses extreme weapons of the medieval age on out hero who takes it all like a bakra , but once the mental anguish crosses a limit , he shifts to anniyan mode and normal mode like a toggle flip flop , as a result ... putting the cop in a major confusion . The cops get beaten black and blue and anniyan runs out of batteries after some time .

The final destination is the court of law where the hero's father , a lawyer himself gives a good presentation to the judge (reminds me of devenders and malavikas presentation in coll .... the one with the quantum computing ) . And so our hero goes scot free against his own will , because the law can understand stuff like alter egos in Chennai !!!

The conculsion is a happy one ... a treatment of a semester ..sorry six months is enough to get rid of the remaining alter ego "anniyan" . The hero is normal when he comes out and loses his Roarkian qualities (wat a pity ) ... but alls well that ends well , he marries and goes off on his honeymoon on a train !? But in the ending scene "anniyan " lives again... akin to "i ll be back " of the terminator .

Its one really entertaining film if you understand tamil ! watchable even otherwise , esp if you can get a tam babe to translate it for you ! Watch it , highly recommended by me ....

- msk

Some memories of college ....

Today I met some of my college friends online , and like before I learnt something from their eyes about myself .

I ve been at home for a couple of weeks , cause I have a case of infectious jaundice (hepatitis A ) . The first few days were miserable , tasteless food and being weak and helpless . But its improved steadily and now am almost back to normal . In the last couple of weeks , I ate food for its nutritional value alone and with salt alone as my saviour , the word "food " has taken taken on a new meaning for me .

Being at home only with family to lean back on and faced with the prospect of passing 24 hrs for a month at home was a little too much ,the reason is I have been in and out of family life for the last 5 years . 4 years of engg. and a year at work . This is undeniably the only time I ve truly spent with my parents in a very very long time . It should have been done a long time ago , but destiny has a strange way of getting things in place . Looking at the way things stand from their point of view , it certainly makes sense for me to look for a job in Bangalore .

Like I was saying in the beginning , I met some friends online and got a morale boosting which can only come through some real feeling ... and this felt great . Thanks batta and chandan if you are reading this ... I really appreciate it . Some hesitation and doubt about my career path still exists , but what the hell its always there in whatever we do, so I am going for it . This brings to my mind a beautiful saying I once saw in an unlikely place called Yercaud ... It said " You can't see the end right from the beginning , but going forward you can see more of what is ahead each time ...until you reach the destination ". Somehow that sentence stuck in my head .

Now I am trying to get back to Bangalore , or atleast to see where I stand as far my value as a 1yr experienced s/w engr goes . Another day in the life of karthik ends .... bye until next time