! Sixth sense

You might be wondering what the title "! Sixth Sense" means . If you 've watched the movie , you 'd probably relate this to the boy's ability to see "dead people" . For me , the "! " implies the negation operator and the "sixth sense " means a quality which humans are said to possess , called "intuition" . So the expression evaluates to "lack of sixth sense" . If you want to find out why i came to this apparently ridiculous conclusion , read on ....


This is a series of events which actually occured to me , you are free to draw your conclusions from them :

A couple of my colleagues got their long awaited (not by them) turn to treat the other 6 of a group of 8 . Somehow I ended up volunteering to take one of them "doubles " on my (legendary) Yamaha to Satyam , so that we could book tickets for the next day's show . And so we set off after a detailed set of instructions from two other guys , who incidentally give the same directions to the same places , but with such contrast in styles of delivery and stresses on important landmarks , that at the end of it , I am back the starting point.
Anyway that didn't matter too much, because I had a navigator behind me and another lady who we followed to the destination . Being my first time out into the "heavy" traffic of Chennai , and that too with a passenger , I was riding very carefully . So carefully that I could n't be drawn into an accident even if I wanted to . We continued guided until the guide "horse" left us with directions and we went through unhindered . Finally at one point of time , we were very close to Satyam multplex , and I was headed into a road which had no vehicles going along with me . This struck me odd and I almost followd my "intuition" when I decided to trust my passenger's common sense and went along the same road . At the corner of the road stood a guy in uniform .... he could have been anything , a conductor , a school boy , a soldier ....anything like , I would n't have cared , but he was a traffic cop! By the time we realised , we were so close to him , he turned around and immediately grabbed my handles and took the key . He was maybe in his fifties , with a white mush and the traffic cop uniform . I was so stunned by this turn of events , I was thinking how I would get my bike out of the police station once it was taken ! My friend though was quicker thinking and was already citing reasons and trying to convince him to let us go. I was dumbstruck .During the course of the conversation that followed , he quoted the original "price " of "escape" as Rs.1500 /= and the "subsidised " amount he was offering as Rs.200 .
We ended up paying 50 each and the old guy must have gone home happy that day. Not to mention I was relieved that I got off easily , and pissed off because I had displayed lack of trust in myself by not listening to the "sixth sense" . After this incident , I came to find out many unwritten rules of the game ." Never give more than 50 bucks to a single cop "; "Never look into the eyes of a cop on the road when you are in a traffic signal in "red" state " .... and other such rational and straight forward stuff .


You would think I learnt my lesson , and lived happily ever after riding unitl my bike rusted to destruction or until I got a new car or another multitude of possibilities . Here's what actually happened .

After a couple of months of the first incident , I was returning home to Adyar from office and was forced to stop at a signal on the Sardar Patel road . This was at around 10 pm at night , yeah its true I had no business going home at that time , but I guess some things happen to warn you of greater dangers to come ! At the signal , a traffic cop was casually looking at the vehicles waiting . And suddenly he noticed something amiss or different in mine and asked me to pull over to the side . I was like "Oh man! ... not again". This time I was better prepared to handle this situation , with all the gyaan" of the earlier incident still fresh . After a lot of fundas and apologies from me , I ended up fifty bucks poorer . I was really .... happy to let go of that fifty because it was half of the hundred buck fine last time and I had handled it well. Even then , I made a show of it to my friends and life went on peacefully .

That was like the mediocre second part of a movie trilogy , but the final one takes the cake , I promise !

In this huge city called "Chennai " I was relocated to a new office building which is located on "North Usman Road " . This is one of the busiest areas in the peak hours and you could literally pull your hair with frustration if you didn't have to hold both the handles to thread through the gaps provided by the "> 4 " wheelers , cycle guys , pedestrians ! and all other two wheelers . You could argue that why not take it cool and follow them at a safe distance . I say that there is no safe distance ! If you are going to slow, there ll be overtakes from the left and right, sudden brakes from the front and possibly a nudge from behind .
And so , I follow the wave of traffic trying to steer clear from the crowd from the only way possible , the front . After a lot of detailed instructions from the afore mentioned illustrious colleagues , I managed to find the office on the first day with not even a hitch as far as direction was concerned . The same night I returned by another route which was suggested by third guy and put me in an venturesome mood . I always sucked as a navigator and I thought "ok, now is the time to learn", and I set out on the new route . It took me so long to reach home I thought 'll nver take that same route again ... although the route was pretty straight forward if you come back late at night when "no entries" are "enterable" . This registered somewhere in my brain as a brownie point for being adventurous and the next day at work , I was upbeat about charting new territory. After a tiring day at work , all my sensible senses told me to go by the main road (mount road ) and reach home safe and sound , but that little devil in me said " What the hell is the shortcut for then?".

I avoided the "GN Chetty road" , the road to GRT Grand and took the third road on the "circle" around "Panagal Park" and went past "Nandanam signal " on mount road , pretty confident of the route . Eventually I reached the "Satyam office" signal , (Maruthi India showroom also there ). At this place , it was so familiar I decided to have a closer look . So I stopped over and found that going right there would go to "Kotturpuram bridge " and then to Cancer Institute Adyar and then all the way home ! But again there was something which made me defy all logic and straight I went thinking "All roads lead to Adyar". The next right had a huge board which said "Adyar =>" showing the direction very clearly . I followed with a sense of relief . The next few turns I took were familiar from the previous night's escorted trip to Satyam and back . And then I came upon an active "no entry " . I reached a road called "Greenways" which incidentally has Mylapore railway station (if I am wrong , please correct me ) and this joined an extremely sorry excuse for a road . This felt like mountain biking through the city but it was a trodden path , so I ventured forth . Through a hazy sequence of roads and bylanes and avoiding one ways I came to mount road again ! and encountered another one way , the one after Teynampet signal when you take a left . Ominously I saw a couple of auto guys going forward and and turning around as if an invisible wall was stopping them . I didn't get the message , part of the stupor of "monitor" fatigue and stubborn recalcitrance made me go on further. Another auto guy turned around and on his way back was saying "go , go there's no problem , its night only , nobody will catch" . And I trusted him , for the only reason that I had got reliable information many times from the same kind of guys . Just a few metres ahead after the glare of the traffic became less, saw a traffic cop approaching me briskly . For a few seconds I was again numb , dumbstruck and he muttering , " even the auto guy is scared and you are coming happily ! " . "Not again :( I thought .. " . He took my keys and crossed the road where there was a more official looking bunch of traffic cops with bike,radio and all things which strike fear in the guy who gets caught . And then he saw my badge and seemed slightly mollified and started speaking with some respect and the tone of a teacher talking to an erring favourite student . I realised later that he knew he would definitely get some money out of me ! After the initial quote of 1500 bucks payable at the court , before which my bike would be siezed , he came down to "How much will you pay? ". I said "I ll pay fifty". But unfortunately ,being dressed in good clothes worked out against me . The smart thing to do , as my friend later told me is to immediately take all money out of ur wallet except 50 bucks and cite reasons like "I am in a big hurry to go home , an emergency
came up and ...." and some cock and bull story like that . If there is one thing I am worse at than navigation, its cooking up stories . And so I parted with 400 hard earned bucks to again roam free ....? on the streets of Chennai .

At the end of this trilogy , I hope this is not "The beginning " and is in fact "The end " !

Learning ....

When a human being is born , as in exitting the mother's womb and entering the outside world , the first thing he/she 's (sex does'nt matter at this point of time u say? oh it does ! the female already has eggs in her ovaries ! just a piece of trivia I remember from 11th) expected to do is confirm a pat on the backside by the doctor . It does n't matter that the confirmation is of the most negative connotation for adults most of the time . Who tells the baby that it should cry when it feels pain ? I think thats part of the basic set of defensive mechanisms built in /hard coded in the brain(wonder when we can start coding on that platform! ) . But from that point onwards , the baby is an amazing sponge ... not just for milk and other liquids , but also for "learning" . Its true that a new born kid can swim in water ! It has not yet learnt the meaning of fear . "Basic instinct " actually fits this kind of behaviour very well , don't you think ?

The brain is a very complex organ , compared to say a computer . Memory storage and retrieval is too good in the case of a computer ,as far as accuracy of information is concerned . But when it comes to locating the starting point of a "thread"(sequence of events ) , the brain is unparalleled ... in its speed and to a varying extent ... "vividness". My earliest memories of the "big bang "( my birth) ... are probably not retrievable bacause the mechanism for storing data which I understand now , would not have been enabled/powerful enough then. As I try harder , I can only come up with glimpses of the time in early school . Incident where I was very happy , very sad , the rawest emotions/thoughts that can come to a being without being influenced by an external agency/force or rather in the stage of being modified by an external agency. In school my instincts told me to be "selfish" , which means I wanted to preserve myself and not my neighbour , even if she happened to be a cute helpless girl . But in events that occured , I was shown that people can't stand "self " motivated entities . A girl called "roopa" used to sit next to me ( not by choice ! ) when I was in the 1st /2nd standard (5/ 6 years old). Her later memories have somewhat altered her earlier childhood image in my brain , but it should suffice to say she was , by some strange convention , less "harmful" looking than I was at that time . You see , in the adult brain , there is malicious code somewhere which makes them react to appearances consciously and subconsciously . So when roopa complained to "maam"(i never understood the concept of the apostophe at that time ), that "karthik is not giving his sharpener! ", maam came down with the plastic ruler and whacked my tender hands . I cried , not with remorse , but sheer anger which I realise was /is righteous now . The pseudo - altruistic teacher and the erring complainer had no business forcing me to part with something which I valued at that time as much as I value my bike now . But the words and the conviction to express my indignation were learnt at a much later time . That was an early lesson on "pride and prejudice" , though I never read that book , it seems apt to that occasion .

I 've come across many pieces of writing /movies where people say what they went through in simple words , but create such a deep impact because of the nature of the event . Cases of people being killed/dying horribly in front of ones eyes , seeing near ones who are your moral pillars at times break down and cry like babies , horrible accidents ..and many such things reveal so much , by showing things as they are , and not as they are made out/supposed to be .
I've had many experiences where my appearance and size and such things were the main criteria for "judging " me . These , though extremely painful at that time ...( something akin to
confused hatred of everyone/self and a lack of identity and understanding ) have become great lessons to remember for me . Because of these incidents I know how to identify similar situations and fight against them . Standing for one's own ideas and beliefs is the greatest thing one can do (the usage of the word "one" maybe incorrect , but it seems right .... reminds me of "the bicentennial man " ). This is one kind of learning where emotional , social , egoistic factors are involved to a large extent . I am sure everyone has gone through some learning process similar to this , if not in the negative sense , maybe positive .

I am really starting to lose track because of loss in concentration . I started out to say something about learning and how its affecting me now , but ended up in my childhood !
Anyway, I ll get back to this some other time , but will complete it for sure , for writing is another thing I enjoy :)

SBC ....MAS....Adyar

I was coming back from Bangalore to Chennai on the "Weekend Express" . Both words deserve to be in quotes because the train spills over its journey into the next week by a few hours and also its not an express ... there are stops at unknown places for unknown reasons for long intervals .

For this journey , I was suprisingly well prepared ... the to and return tickets were with me ; I had packed in a couple of extra undies , and hankies ; I even remembered to take all the stuff dad asked to get ! Considering my earlier misadventures with tickets ( tore both to and return tickets thinking they were used once ! ) and losing things like umbrellas ,credit cards and mobiles ... this was far better .

That was a fair introduction to fickle me ... a part of me , mind you ! Anyway , I was at the station on time and in my compartment . The lights were off and someone was in my "bed" (second sleeper) , I presumed . Then I resisted shaking the man / woman .... no it was a man , awake .An old voice came out of nowhere , asking me "yendhe seat number , sir? " . I looked around in the dark and saw the old man lying down on the middle berth on the left hand side of the compartment and wondered why he should bother . Anyway, he made me think out aloud , and I figured out that the upper berth above the RAC seats was mine and got on unceremoniously .


Wearing a pair of leather shoes of an unacknowledged brand "Lycostyle" worth 2k (bought at Spencer's), a Levi's worth 1.4 k at B'lore and a shawl to keep warm , I tried stretching out . But to my dismay , found the berth short even for a 5 '8 me ! Hmm , must have been a cost - cutting measure , the software engineer inside me said . That made me smile and triggered memories of office . It kept me occupied for sometime as "multiple threads of executions " were spawned ( many thought processes were running in my brain at that time ) and as if many "goto" statements were coded , I switched context rapidly between events , ideas and people . As this was going on , my body was still uncomfortable with the cramped space and the already switched on fan , enhancing the chill in the air . My shawl was like a thin wrapper around a bulky "Active X " struggling in its container executible . And if this is a bad comparison , you won't believe the stuff people dole out at work ( s/w ) as if its a piece of art ! Anyway , coming back to the chill , it was especially annoying because my throat was itchy and the bag (which doubled up as my pillow on travels ) bumpy . I thought , this was going to be another one of many sleepless nights I 've spent in trains and buses and a sleepy one at work / college the next day . The simplest solution I thought would be to turn off the fan and sleep peacefully . I just bent over like a mountaineer and reached out to try the switches under my berth . Then made use of the "Diet " mineral water bottle and managed to turn on a light , luckily nobody was awake at that time ... found the right switch and gradually the high pitched sound of rotating fan blades stopped . All the fans in my compartment went off ! There were 3X2 + 1 passengers other than me in that compartment . Obviously , there was a bug in the switching system or the design and anyway I didn't think anyone would mind the lack of chilling cold ! So , I settled down to a better rest .
After an hour or so , my half sleep was interrupted by one of the old ladies who was in a lot of clothing meant for the cold (sari + sweater + bedsheet etc) . "Who turned off the fans ? " she asked in a accusatory tone directed to all there . All responded negatively , I guess they were in varying stages of sleep . And I lay there still , wondering if they would find out . I guess one of them found out , but I didn't move , I just lay there ... in self righteous comfort . One of them got up and flicked on one of the switches near to their end ... and again a surprise , only their fans came on and mine remained unaffected ! So , "All's well that ends well " I said and drifted back to half sleep .

At 8 am the train reached Chennai Central . The latest I ve reached in an overnight journey by this train . " Not my lucky day " I thought as my eyes scanned the crowd for some sign of a pretty girl . I walked the long walk from S8 to the entrance/exit of "Central" dodging the coolies and a maruadi kid and his mother who were approaching me like a WWF tag team ... holding hands and moving in for a "clothesline ". They split and rejoined behind me . Carrying on beyond the auto guys (who don't bug me nowadays surprisingly) and into the subway , I noticed a wave of people . This wave was like a "compression - rarefaction" kind of wave , the way sound travels . People were moving up two alternate stairs to exits from the subway . One was closer to the bus stand maybe by 15-20 m . Most went this way , at half the speed the other group was going , but with double the number of people . I took the lighter path and avoided touching anyone or breathing into anyone's face for obvious reasons .


I expected the bus stand to be crowded and spashy like the last time ... but it was dry and buses were moving around easily unhindered . Thanks to the traffic cops who are functional at all times and at all places I go to . Sometimes I resent their presence but without them , it would be chaos . A college guy , from Kerala I guessed asked me the bus no. to Anna University . I told him the bus numbers . They carried on , with some other plan, probably an auto I thought . Anyway they were out of sight and a somewhat "empty " bus swerved in and stopped with the characteristic Chennai bus sound . Getting in , I found the all seats save the last filled . There were two columns of seats . The left side is meant for women , the front is meant for women and so I assumed that the back must be for men , or at least free for all . I sat down leaving one place empty , which a lady in her late thirties came to occupy . She looked at me with a vertical scan and said "Idhu ladies seatu "(this is a ladies seat ) . But I was wary of being taken for a ride , and replied " Yengiyo elidhilla , apdinu " (Its not written so anywhere ) . I don't know to read tamil , but clearly there was nothing written in that area , so it was a safe argument I thought . With some scorn , she asked "Madrasikku pudhusa ? " (new to Madras?) . I replied honestly "Oru varsham aachi , aanal idhu ladies seatinu yenakka yarume sollile"(Its been a year ,and nobody ever told me this was a ladie's seat ) .


She settled down next to me while her companion remained standing . Settling down , I thought "Abbada , thats enough friction for a day " . But no , someone must have heard me . A skinny girl entered the scene at the next stop with a brown stripes on white uniform and dumped a huge bag of books on me . I was shocked out of my wits ... "What do you want me to do with this ?" I asked , though it was pretty obvious madam was not in the habit of lugging her luggage like the way I used to in school . She said "Please hold my bag " , but to me it sounded wrong . She should have ideally said , "Can you please hold on to my bag " , or at least a gentle request instead. Anyway , it was in English I thought ... I could n't get the english speaking with school kids and college kids out of my system . She turned around and told her friend "Tamil therla polarku " (this guy doesn't know tamil I think ) laughing at my predicament . That made me a mixture of pissed off and embarassed . The conductor came in at that time and I asked him "Sir , Idhu ladies' seat aa?" (Sir ,is this a ladies' seat ?) . "Aaama"(Yes) he replied and I dumped the big back pack on my neighbour unintentionally ... I was so averse towards holding someone else's burden . Then saying the final "sorry" of the day (I decided) , I got up and stood the rest of the way until we reached Alwarpet ... somewhere near "Ramada Raj park " ,the only 4 star hotel I've stayed in . Sitting down , I reflected on the events and what I should have done . Alternate summaries and climaxes struck me , but that didn't happen and I was not going to make it happen on that day ! Let a different "me" in a parallel universe try it out , if he/she was led through the same series of events by chance /probability .

And that was the beginning of my day back in Chennai !

remo ...