Learning ....

When a human being is born , as in exitting the mother's womb and entering the outside world , the first thing he/she 's (sex does'nt matter at this point of time u say? oh it does ! the female already has eggs in her ovaries ! just a piece of trivia I remember from 11th) expected to do is confirm a pat on the backside by the doctor . It does n't matter that the confirmation is of the most negative connotation for adults most of the time . Who tells the baby that it should cry when it feels pain ? I think thats part of the basic set of defensive mechanisms built in /hard coded in the brain(wonder when we can start coding on that platform! ) . But from that point onwards , the baby is an amazing sponge ... not just for milk and other liquids , but also for "learning" . Its true that a new born kid can swim in water ! It has not yet learnt the meaning of fear . "Basic instinct " actually fits this kind of behaviour very well , don't you think ?

The brain is a very complex organ , compared to say a computer . Memory storage and retrieval is too good in the case of a computer ,as far as accuracy of information is concerned . But when it comes to locating the starting point of a "thread"(sequence of events ) , the brain is unparalleled ... in its speed and to a varying extent ... "vividness". My earliest memories of the "big bang "( my birth) ... are probably not retrievable bacause the mechanism for storing data which I understand now , would not have been enabled/powerful enough then. As I try harder , I can only come up with glimpses of the time in early school . Incident where I was very happy , very sad , the rawest emotions/thoughts that can come to a being without being influenced by an external agency/force or rather in the stage of being modified by an external agency. In school my instincts told me to be "selfish" , which means I wanted to preserve myself and not my neighbour , even if she happened to be a cute helpless girl . But in events that occured , I was shown that people can't stand "self " motivated entities . A girl called "roopa" used to sit next to me ( not by choice ! ) when I was in the 1st /2nd standard (5/ 6 years old). Her later memories have somewhat altered her earlier childhood image in my brain , but it should suffice to say she was , by some strange convention , less "harmful" looking than I was at that time . You see , in the adult brain , there is malicious code somewhere which makes them react to appearances consciously and subconsciously . So when roopa complained to "maam"(i never understood the concept of the apostophe at that time ), that "karthik is not giving his sharpener! ", maam came down with the plastic ruler and whacked my tender hands . I cried , not with remorse , but sheer anger which I realise was /is righteous now . The pseudo - altruistic teacher and the erring complainer had no business forcing me to part with something which I valued at that time as much as I value my bike now . But the words and the conviction to express my indignation were learnt at a much later time . That was an early lesson on "pride and prejudice" , though I never read that book , it seems apt to that occasion .

I 've come across many pieces of writing /movies where people say what they went through in simple words , but create such a deep impact because of the nature of the event . Cases of people being killed/dying horribly in front of ones eyes , seeing near ones who are your moral pillars at times break down and cry like babies , horrible accidents ..and many such things reveal so much , by showing things as they are , and not as they are made out/supposed to be .
I've had many experiences where my appearance and size and such things were the main criteria for "judging " me . These , though extremely painful at that time ...( something akin to
confused hatred of everyone/self and a lack of identity and understanding ) have become great lessons to remember for me . Because of these incidents I know how to identify similar situations and fight against them . Standing for one's own ideas and beliefs is the greatest thing one can do (the usage of the word "one" maybe incorrect , but it seems right .... reminds me of "the bicentennial man " ). This is one kind of learning where emotional , social , egoistic factors are involved to a large extent . I am sure everyone has gone through some learning process similar to this , if not in the negative sense , maybe positive .

I am really starting to lose track because of loss in concentration . I started out to say something about learning and how its affecting me now , but ended up in my childhood !
Anyway, I ll get back to this some other time , but will complete it for sure , for writing is another thing I enjoy :)